The Task The Wish Part II

The Task The Wish Part II
a poem by Michael Kleber-Diggs

art by Allegra Lockstadt

Continuing the invitation to be tender from The Task The Wish in 2020, Michael reflects on the same word in 2024.

To be tender—to hold out

to stretch, hold forth, to offer
or present formally

for acceptance.

To become tender—to be

affected with pity, to grow
soft, to soften, to render gentle

or compassionate…

Where are you tender?

Are you like me,

like I try to be, have tried to be,

tender only in certain places,

certain ways?

Sometimes

I feel the work of my life

is to find a way to love

what I love fully,

no holding back, no faking it,

to love past the fear that what I love

will disappear [again] leave me

devastated [again].

For years

I thought I had a way. I tried

to love what I could love enough

that it would always stay,

but not so much that if it went

away, if it disappeared, it would

destroy me, like it did

the first time I lost what

I loved and wanted to hold

Forever.

We are

wired for protection;

we have an instinct for

survival; and we survive

by fear of what

might

cause us pain—

that kind of cat,

that lovely berry,

and those particular

spiders.

It took me years

to realize love is not

a hot stove, so love is

not an option. And

avoiding love

even a little, well
that does not work—

stretch, hold forth, offer.

There is no protection

in love. In love we are

made tender—that is

how it works, actually—

the only way

it works.

We are left

with two choices:

to resist or

surrender;

to choose fear or

grow tender,

to be

affected,

but unprotected,

more reliant

on soft

things, soft people

to capture us

should we fall,

as we will, as we

must in this

world, in this

life, in our

lives—together

as we are, as we

have to be, be-

cause there is

no other

way to be

made except

to be made

more tender.

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